Oh, My Aching Feet

The leopard print platform pumps I wore yesterday are the single most uncomfortable shoes I own - and that's saying something considering I own 55 pairs of shoes. I have other pairs that are just as high, with the same platform and everything, but there's just something about them that kill my feet. I can't even get relief from sitting down - I suffer every second they're on my feet, whether I'm sitting or standing. They're just too cute to not wear, so I try to keep them to my four-hour work shifts and concentrate on how cute they are. And, for the record, today was damn sure a Skechers day!

What I want to know is this: how can one pair of shoes hurt so blinking much while another barely makes a dent? They are not too narrow or too small. It's like they make my foot more vertical than any other shoes I own. But, again, I have others that are just as high and have the same platform. It's clearly a design flaw and everyone else is just as idiotic as I am and wears them anyway. I feel the need to buy more shoes - comfort be damned!

Back in Black

I'm back in all-black today. It's just so safe. I couldn't go very long without wearing any black, much less head-to-toe. Now, it's not like I didn't have options. I could have worn charcoal pants or a red sweater or a turquoise button-down or a myriad of other options. But, no, I'm in black - a pretty awesome, but still all-black, outfit (if I do say so myself).

This has been going on for many years. In fact, I was wearing all black in my high school graduating class picture (the whole class, not just my senior picture), I was wearing all black (with a tiny floral print, but that hardly made a dent) when I graduated from college and I'm quite sure I did the same darn thing when I graduated from my Master's program. Am I really such a one-trick pony? It's really my sister that everyone associates with wearing black - she's a grown-up goth girl who hasn't lost her penchant for the macabre garb. So, maybe being back in black isn't such a bad thing - as long as I'm not known as "The Mom in Black" I'll be okay with it.

Thursday: black sweater with white collar and cuffs, burgundy skinny patent belt, black pants, silver & white pearl chainy necklace, silver hoops and leopard platform pumps

Nary a Pattern in Sight

I am terrible about wearing patterns - I have maybe 20 in my wardrobe. It's all solids. The Blonde One has a wealth of plaid and stripes of all kinds. I did too at one time. Why am I now so wary of patterns? It's not like they're hard to wear. It's not like there aren't tasteful or pretty or classy patterns out there. Solids are just so much easier, I guess - you just have to worry about the colors working together. I certainly never got the hang of mixing patterns - that's just too much going on for me. I've seen some that look great, but most of it just looks like someone's closet puked all over them. Ugh.

The moral of the story: a little pattern is a good thing, a little more is better, but too much can be hazardous to your health. I need more.

Wednesday: khaki cords, teal long-sleeved tee, chocolate brown henley, turquoise drop bead earrings and metallic ballet flats

The Horror!

It's not a pretty sight - you know, the Bare Midriff. Purposeful Bare Midriffs are bad enough (unless you are a young child or a Hollywood starlet, but even then they're certainly not classy), but those caused by creeping shirts over low-rise pants (and often accompanied by the dreaded Muffin Top) are especially horrifying. We've all had our peeking issues (my one tattoo likes to peek out when I bend over if I'm not careful), but I'm talking about pure negligence here, not the occasional accident. I have birthed two babies and now have a substantial marsupial pouch and I have less of a belly than many Bare Midriffs I see in the general public. Ladies, cover up your bellies! Regardless of their flatness, number of packs, stretch marks (or lack thereof) - just keep them under wraps! Walking around the Mall of America on a weekend is just about enough to make you want to gouge your eyes out rather than see yet another Bare Midriff. Yikes!

Tuesday: dark (Mossimo) jeans, heathered green tee, leopard print cardigan, gold cuff earrings & olive Skechers

Polish it Up!

So, I put on my tall brown boots (I almost called them my favorites, but then I realized that all of my shoes are my favorites, so that wasn't really accurate) today and realized that I need to polish the poor babies. BooBoo has been obsessed wtih tromping around the house wearing these brown beauties and seems to have scuffed them pretty good. Sigh. I remember the old days (before children) when I religiously polished, shined and protected every single pair of shoes and boots I own at least twice a year (every fall and spring - and, yes, I am totally anal. Get over it.). Now I'm lucky to use my little disposable furniture polishing rags or a butt wipe on the most pathetic of my footwear even once a year.

Time marches on...all over my booty and my boots.

Monday: khaki & pink argyle sweater, chocolate corduroy skirt, chocolate ribbed tights, dark brown tall boots, silver hoops and silver quartz necklace

How Much Is Too Much?

My six year-old, LooLoo, told me I wear too much black. I think when your six year-old gives you fashion advice, your situation is significant. Of course, today I am wearing all black; so I recognize that I may have a problem. However, many women run into this same rut. We justify well - Black is slimming! It goes with everything! It's easier to match your shoes! It doesn't show stains! (Your own rationalization goes here)! Let's get real - black is not slimming, it is the fit of your clothes that makes you look slim. Black goes with most things, but so do colors. I'm not even going to address the shoe thing. Stains can appear on black (especially bleach), so that point is useless as well. In short, there is no justification other than pure laziness. Black is the path of least resistance. It is my chosen path, I admit.

Let's make a pact - we love color! We will add color into our daily lives. (Except for yellow, since no one looks good in yellow - although you can get a pop of yellow from accessories without scaring the masses.) Say it with me, color is good.

Sunday: black tracksuit, black tank, black kicks (see above)

Mixing it Up

As many of us do, I tend to gravitate toward jeans more than anything else. My goal is to wear jeans to work only two days a week and mix it up the other two days. I also recognize that I will be taking more fashion risks than I normally do (I tend to be quite safe in my dressing), but that's part of the deal. For example, one day I wore a tank top, printed linen dress/tunic, black skinny jeans, heels and a black hoodie - it didn't work. I think the hoodie was just the wrong shape (not fitted enough) and I looked a little mack truck-like. I'm not at all a proponent of the whole dress-over-jeans-thing, but I gave it a shot. Frankly, I can't understand the appeal - opaque tights are so much better. Of course, when a "dress" doesn't cover one's booty, it becomes a shirt and the issue becomes moot.

I think my clothes may get lonely and shrink if I don't start wearing them more often (I'm not getting bigger, it's just that my clothes are mad at me and shrink out of spite). Actually, I am quite aware that, after two children and not taking care of myself very well for the past few years, I am larger than I prefer to be. However, I have lost three pounds already and am hoping this experiment will be a catalyst to continue in the scale downward position. Here's to tightening the belt!

Getting Started

I have a lot of clothes. I have a lot of shoes. I always end up wearing the same Mom uniform - jeans, long- or short-sleeved t-shirt and wedges or ballet flats, often with a layering piece since I'm usually cold. However, laziness comes into play most of the time and little thought or effort goes into my appearance. I occasionally mix it up with one of my two old lady track suits (as a friend so hilariously dubbed my velour hoodie/pants combos) or the odd skirt. I admit that I have gained some weight, so that is sometimes a mitigating factor in what I wear, but it's not like I don't have clothes that fit.

So, here's my proposal: I am going to see how long I can go without wearing the same outfit to work twice. There are, of course, rules: 1) the same top and bottom with a layering piece (like a cardigan, blazer or hoodie) and different accessories would qualify as a different outfit, but just wearing different shoes or changing jewelry wouldn't be sufficient 2) a dress would have to have a layering piece and different accessories to pass muster 3) I can't go out and buy something with the express purpose of making a new outfit, but I can purchase new clothes and shoes as I would normally. My intention is to dress more purposefully and, hopefully, wear more of the clothes in my wardrobe.

I work four evenings a week - at a very casual office where there is quite a bit of variety in what people wear. I tend to change right before work, as my girls regard me as the human napkin. I also tend to dress up a bit more when I have to train, so I do try to step it up a notch about 50% of the time I'm at work.

Here's the first week:
Monday: I can't remember - it was too long ago!
Tuesday: printed wrap dress, black tights, black boots, gold and coral lariat necklace, gold hoops
Wednesday: dark (Mossimo) jeans, white tank, navy & white striped hoodie, running shoes
Thursday: mid-rinse (Steve & Barry's) jeans, black tank, coral 3/4 sleeve tunic, silver hoops & bangles, mixed bead necklace, black with silver buckle d'Orsays